The Demon

The come back is never easy… When you step away from what you call your craft, or take a brake from a job, then try to throw yourself back into it like you never left, time has a way of showing you there’s some catching up to do. The streets have been on fire since I dropped out of sight a few months ago, had a couple bad fallouts within that time off that derailed a lot of my plans for both my well being and that of the city’s. But I’m back now, I had to come back. I’ve broken down doors and crashed through windows on a nightly base, and still I find myself afraid of what may happen to me or someone when I lose control. It’s why I had to take the time off; this rage inside that comes over me is something I’m trying desperately to control. There are moments I can feel my life slippin away and the beast inside has taken full control. To find out there is a total stranger living inside that embraces the rush from gun fire and is a junky to the action that comes behind it is scary to me. Lusting over the feeling that takes over when I take flight across the city’s skyline and rain down on any and everyone that catches my eye disrespecting the streets. How can I feel so welcome to these feelings when taken over by them? I’ll be the first to say I’m more then confused; I really had no good reason for leaving. I can’t even call it droppin the ball, more like turning my back on the game. A game I started, in the beginning there were just the gangs and crime lords that ran the nightly news that I had to deal with. But since I first put on the mask, it’s felt like it’s been drawing more problems and higher threats to the city. And if that’s so what have I done to the city I clime to protect, are my action causing more harm then good? These questions I ask myself are what keep me confused at times and a major part of why I stepped down. Even after comin across others like myself who cover their faces and fight to save whatever’s left of there town and seeing what good this could do. It’s the demon inside me that keeps findin its way out. The broken eye socket and dislodged sternum I left a victim with that haunts me, overkill. And the pressure is on me now to clean up the mess I’ve left the city in, even if I am the magnet that keeps attracting the chaos. I’ll just haft to learn to live with that and forgive myself later, fact is deep down I know part of this is due to my actions. You can’t have the light without the dark and I try to stay between the two until the streets are civilized enough for me to step down without regret. Till that day, I’m here and accepting that truth. This is my destiny my faith, I am this figure I’ve managed to hide from myself for so long. A figure of the night fighting for and with those who represent the light, the battle within is mine to bare and no one else’s, and before I lose total control of this rage I haft to seek help. And it’s only one man that could do that, the great Master Kenshi. The man who first saw in me what I’m now finding, but it’s also that fact that has me doubting his willingness to help. I would still be a member of the clan if I didn’t get myself kicked out after losing my cool again in a fight amounts another member. The great master saw the fight and quickly dismissed me soon after. I’ll never forget the words he spoke to me, “forget now all I have taught you. The rage and pain in your heart will some day destroy you.” Then he sent me on my way, I remember packing as he stood over me explaining if I wanted to overcome such a cancer I would haft to find myself. I guess I’m still working on that, It would be a long shot going back to him asking for help. Seeing what I’ve become, exposing him to this dark figure might not have a good outcome. If all goes south with the Master, and he doesn’t take a liking to what I’ve used his teachings for, It’s all out war against him and “The Can of Hope.” A war I cant win and don’t want, one would haft to defeat thirty or so soldiers all highly skilled in the art the master taught me, “Jeet kune do.” Not to mention there’s probably twice as many followers now then there was back when I was taken under the master’s wing. I was his best student at the time, surpassing everyone in rank. But in the end none of that mattered, he looked right through that and saw the demon inside before even I could.